MONEY

money is made thru jobs and 'other' less-suiteable endevors and is used to by loads of things. contrery to popolar beleif money can be used to by everything there is EXCEPT things which canot be bought simply becuse they have no monetariy value.

As with most thigns in life, money was both invented and descovered. It was discovered in the sense that some people relized that certain things have more value than others. animal pelts, salt, sugar, cotton, gold, silver, that sort of stuff… there was much trading going on and the values of thing were constantly changing of course becuase of thigns called varybles. Sometimes you can’t get a lot of gold, sometimes you can’t catch enough animals to skin, and this sort of thing makes a commodity scarse. And when something is scarse it is rare. And it is then VALUABLE.

Trading of goods wasn’t always possible cos people wanted to acquire items withot having to trade their own goods and this was wear money came in. people would trade things for items which were basically ‘valued’ according to the item they traded. There were pieces of bone and maybe nice-looking stones, etc… but these were all just placeholders for value and were’nt actually valuable themselves. Everntually people would begin to employ bits of gold to do the job and there was a sort of standardizasion to how the pieces of gold looked, etc… and it was almost at this point that you culd say you had rudimenatry coinage in circulation!

So, as you can see, this was how money was both discovered and invented. And then what happened? Well, a third thing! The ROMANS came along and perfected money! They said ‘look at all these bits of gold floating about they all look quite similar but we can go a bit better than that’, so they stamped a picture of a surly old women on there and HEY PRESTO! we have some decent money! The Roman culture flourished with money and it wasn’t long after this that they discovered taxes, roads, aqueducts, the Caeserian section, and pizza. And that, my frend, is the power of money right there. It can build a civiliazion right up from the ground. But, BEAWARE, becuos money is a fickle mistress and she can also destory entire places, just ask Greeece or Zimbobwe.

At this stage, the coins themselves were still cast from gold so they were worth there wait in gold or whatever, but nowadays, gold is too expensive to make money for common people so some clever clogs then thought ‘you know what? I should trick everyone in the world into believing that little peices of paper can be used to represent value and that the cogs of the mashine can be oiled and move sweetly to th sound of printed money’ and that was just what he did. He might have been Aemrican, but I do not know. That is basically the history of money from day 1 up until this point in time and just about now all that’s really going on with money is people are either too poor or too rich or they are in det, or they are China.

There are all differnt kinds of money across the world and this is only because people cannot agree on which money looks and feels the best. For this reason, we have all different-looking money. It is the way of the woreld, I’m afriad. If we all had the same money life would be dull, people would probably go about saying ‘this money looks rubbish, why is this odl lady frowning at me all the time?’ So we each use different monies and the values of the moneies change from time to time based on world affairs like bad weather or bad people. Or bad Government. Every country in the world basically has differnt money except for those countrys which do’nt.

So, yes, money is used to buy things in life. typically what happens in lif is you get told that money is quite important. You get told ‘money makes the world go ROUND’ and then you get tricked into thinking you have to liv in that kind of world. You go to school and maybe varsity then so that you can be educated and then get a job. Once yor finished with school and maybe varsity you have to pay for it, unless you have nice parents. So you pay for it by getting a job. You do the job to pay for the house where you live so you can be near the job and so that you can drive to the job too. you make money at the job and you try to save it away but you can’t erally because petrol is going up and so are taxes. Also, you’ve just sat yor kids down and sed ‘kids, money makes the world go round, here is your lunchbox, don’t talk to strangers’ and so you have to pay for them so that one day they can get jobs too in the future. also, your parents are getting on now and they ned a bit of money to support themselves and buy soft foods because ther teeht are bad and also ‘a tin of something for the cat’.

You go to the job and typically you complain about the job and why you don’t like the job but you DO the job still and you look at your calendar and say to yorself ‘hmmm, i wonder what the Cayman islands are like this time of year… or Antartica…’ then you sit at your desk again and push a pencil or lick an envelope or whatever it is you do at your job. Remember to be thankful you have the job though because there are lots of people who DO’NT have a job and, just think, if you didn’t have a job you couldn’t have time off from the job and go on a holydays! :D

Money is at the heart of jobs. You do the job so you can get the money so that you can buy stuff which helps you be alive and continue doing the job until you can’t do it anymore. It is a viscous cycle. And that is why they say ‘money is the root of all evil’.

Don’t just JUMP at the offerd price though! you can try to get the person to sell it to you for cheeper by using fast talking and being savvy. That is haggling. This is an example of hagglign:

Me: Hullo! That is a fine Justin Timerbalke compact disc you have there, good sir!

Salesman: Why, yes! It is the best, everyone knows.

Me: It is a bit too sharp on my pocket though, sadly…

Salesman: Ah, well, then…

Me & Salesman: LET US HAGGLE!

(Now you shake hadns quickly, be firm when doing this)

Salesman: this is the latest compact disc from Justin and that price is rather fixed, sir. I have a business to run here, I’m afraid.

Me: I tell you, sir, not five minutes ago I was in a shop nearby and that gentleman would’ve vended me the same compact disc at a reduced price.

Salesman: I can offer you a slight saving if you take this two for one offer right HERE

Me: but I do not like this other Justin fellow. His voice is too nasally and stings the ers. Aslo, I doNOT agree with those lyrics of his.

Salesman: why not give it to a frend? Or an enemy who you DO NOT like?

Me: that is a fine idea! Christmas is coming up!

Me & Salesman: A DEAL IS STRUCK

(Shake hands, exchange moneys)

Just remember to not be rude wen haggling as it is a GENTLEMANS PURSUTE.

People often say ‘that is pricless’ or ‘you can’t put a pricetag on that’ but, if it’s a real object you can do wahtever you want to it. unless it’s a person. You CANT do that sort of thing anymore. You can buy islands or fancy cars, the best animals, a beachfront masnion, you can even use money to buy things whihc don’t exist yet and this is called research! You jjsut need to have an idea of what you want and then you say to the scienstist ‘hey, we need more edible plates around here, get on that. STAT!’ and he’ll go and sciens it up if he has enough money.

The only things that are priceslss in life are odd things, I’ll tell yuo. Things like ‘putting your feet up in front of a warm fire’ or ‘when yor puppy licks you on the face and breaths on you’ or ‘when you hold hands with your sweeetie’ or ‘the smell of pinecones’. though these things are a bit odd, they are definiely worth trying to obtain, especially the puppy one.   

This is a list of those things money can't buy:

                1. real-life Dragons.

                2. woreld peas

                3. 'real' proper love* (<- this is an ASterix it means yuo need to look at the bottom of the page for more informatin)

                4. Bruce Wills to come to yor berthday partey BUT  this is unconfirmed.

and that's about it. If it's not here than you can probably by it with mony. If you have any ideas for other things which money can’t by then tell me please. If you know how to get Bruce Wilils to come to my berthday partey please private message me when you can. overall, I would say that money is rather important these days. I dont have too much of it but I get a long. it's just a little bit of give-and-take when it come sto this ‘funny old life’. as such, I am going to give money a 5/10 because even though it is the ‘root of all evil’ and can be used to buy guns, it can also be used to buy cats and puppies and even get Bruce Willis to your party MAYBE.

* you may have nottissed that I sed 'reel' love. this is becuase love is subjectiv to alot of people. evenshully i will reveiw love on here. when i say 'reel' love i mean that you fele incompleet when you are not togethr with your true love and that they will laff at any jok you tell even if its not funney. BUT you can by other types of love from dodgey people and i wuld rather not go into detales abowt that sort-of-thing.