Spides

This is another tough reveiw for me because I do’nt like spiders. AT ALL. I hate them and; in fact, I think that it may just bais my review of them to some degree. Anyways, here goes.

My mom says that it’s “bad luck to kill a spider’ and I was look her dead in the eye and say ‘it is only bad luck for the spider”. In my honst opinion, the best way to apprecate spiders is once they’re dead. If a spider has been killd then it is no longer of any danger to you. one of the other good ways to view a spider is behind gloss because this creates a much safer environment in whici to watch a spider. Just don’t get too close.

There are lots of different kinds of spiders but they all share pretty common characteristics:

• 8 eyes
• 8 legs
• Make webs to catch food/people
• bad or evil
• hairy
• mostly Black (makes them very hard to see at night. this makes them serious nightmare fuel))
• no hearts..

Spiders can be as small as grain of dirt if they are still baby but some types of spiders can get to be dinner plate size in size. Some spiders are able to catch birds in their webs and will eat them. I’ve also heard it mentioned before that there are spiders capable of carrying of infant children but I cannot confirm or deny this. I can only remember this information if I ever have childrin one day.

Speaking of kids: Spiders can live for long periods of time and can breed prolifically if given the chance. My mom told me once that she once tried to move a spider out of the house with a broom and that spider had babies on its back and when that broom touched the spider in a COMPLETELY NON-THREATENING WAY it lost it and fired all of its babies into the air around her. So, yeah, that. If that happened  to me in my hosue, I would leave. A lot.

There are a few ways you can kill spiders:

Just trample it.!

If the spider is small then try stepping on it. Always wear a shoe when doing this because the spider might have some fight in him otherwise and will bite your foot. You don’t want this. If you’ve got the shoe, use the shoe. If it is ‘A LAST DITCH EFFORT’ and you aren’t waering shoes you may just have to risk being bit. Choose your least favorite foot in case the spider is poisonous.

There are types of spray which can kill spiders and these are nice because they can be used from a distance, a great distance. Guns can also be used from a distance and if the spider is quite big they can be used effectively. I don't know if spiders ever slep. i've never gotten close enough to check if their eyes are closed. I think they are always active because they know people are always trying to kill them.

Spiders tend to twitch when they are dying. Watch this closely until they stop. Do not look away.

If you can’t kill a spider then the best thing to do is avoid it. If the spider persists, you might have to leave the room. If the spider follows you, well then you have a spider who has a grudge and you may just have to leave that house and find a new one to live. I’m sorry. These things happen.

Some people will tell you that spiders are ‘not doing anyone any harm’ and, for a while, this may be true. But. If you attach the word ‘yet’ to that sentence then you have a very different scenario, don’t you? Just imagine that spider lying in wait for you to go to sleep. Then he’ll get you. Or maybe he’s waiting for you to turn your back. Then he’ll get you. Or maybe he’s waiting for you to get influenza again. Then he’ll get you. Anyone who tells you spiders aren’t going to do you any harm clearly hasn’t been harmed by a spider. Yet.

I’m sorry there are so few pictures of spiders in this reveiw but I just can’t tolerate them. I just can’t. I want to give spiders a negative mark in terms of everything there is but that wouldn’t be fair. 2/10 is alright in my books.